Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain
page 103 of 344 (29%)
page 103 of 344 (29%)
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sir."
"Oh, that is all very well--but somebody has got to pay for that beef. It has got to be paid now, too, or I'll confiscate this old Patent Office and everything in it." "But, my dear sir--" "It don't make any difference, sir. The Patent Office is liable for that beef, I reckon; and, liable or not liable, the Patent Office has got to pay for it." Never mind the details. It ended in a fight. The Patent Office won. But I found out something to my advantage. I was told that the Treasury Department was the proper place for me to go to. I went there. I waited two hours and a half, and then I was admitted to the First Lord of the Treasury. I said, "Most noble, grave, and reverend Signor, on or about the 10th day of October, 1861, John Wilson Macken--" "That is sufficient, sir. I have heard of you. Go to the First Auditor of the Treasury." I did so. He sent me to the Second Auditor. The Second Auditor sent me to the Third, and the Third sent me to the First Comptroller of the Corn-Beef Division. This began to look like business. He examined his books and all his loose papers, but found no minute of the beef contract. I went to the Second Comptroller of the Corn-Beef Division. He examined his books and his loose papers, but with no success. I was encouraged. |
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