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The Curious Republic of Gondour, and Other Whimsical Sketches by Mark Twain
page 52 of 63 (82%)

Firing was heard yesterday in the direction of Blucherberg, and for a
while the excitement was intense. However the people reflected that the
country in that direction is uninhabitable, and impassable by anything
but birds, they became quiet again.

The Emperor sends his troops to the field with immense enthusiasm. He
will lead them in person, when they return.

.....................

Fourth Day
THE EUROPEAN WAR!

NO BATTLE YET!!
THE TROOPS GROWING OLD!
BUT BITTER STRIFE IMMINENT!
PRODIGIOUS EXCITEMENT!
THE INVASIONS SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISHED
AND THE INVADERS SAFE!
RUSSIA SIDES WITH BOTH SIDES
ENGLAND WILL FIGHT BOTH!
LONDON, Friday.

No battle has been fought thus far, but a million impetuous soldiers are
gritting their teeth at each other across the border, and the most
serious fears entertained that if they do not die of old age first, there
will be bloodshed in this war yet.

The prodigious patriotic excitement goes on. In Prussia, per Prussian
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