The Local Preacher


Ay, I'm a ranter, so at least fowks say;
Happen they'd tell t' same tale o' t' postle Paul.
I've ranted fifty yeer, coom first o' May,
An' niver changed my gospil through 'em all.

There's nowt like t' Blooid o' t' Lamb an' t' Fire o' Hell
To bring a hardened taistril(1) to his knees;
If fowks want more nor that, then thou can tell
'Em straight, I've got no cure for their disease.

I willent thole this New Theology
That blends up Hell wi' Heaven, sinners wi' saints
For black was black when I turned Methody,
An' white was white, i' souls as weel as paints.

That's awlus t' warp an' t' weft o' my discourse,
An' awlus will be, lang as I can teach;
If fowks won't harken tul it, then, of course,
They go to church and hear t' owd parson preach.

His sarmon's like his baccy, sweet an' mild;
Fowk's ommost hauf asleep at t' second word.
By t' Mass! they're wick as lops,(2) ay, man an' child,
When I stan' up an' wrastle wi' the Lord.

Nay, I'm not blamin' parson, I'll awant(3);