I came home thoroughly beaten with fatigue, and went to bed.
Fortunately I sank at once to rest, and with the morning was born the
clear discernment that whatever I ought to do, it was more manly of me
to go than to write to Ellen. Accordingly, I made arrangements for
getting somebody to supply my place in the pulpit for a couple of
Sundays, and went home.



CHAPTER VI--ELLEN AND MARY



I now found myself in the strangest position. What was I to do? Was I
to go to Ellen at once and say plainly, "I have ceased to care for
you"? I did what all weak people do.

I wished that destiny would take the matter out of my hands. I would
have given the world if I could have heard that Ellen was fonder of
somebody else than me, although the moment the thought came to me I saw
its baseness. But destiny was determined to try me to the uttermost,
and make the task as difficult for me as it could be made.

It was Thursday when I arrived, and somehow or other--how I do not
know--I found myself on Thursday afternoon at her house. She was very
pleased to see me, for many reasons. My last letters had been doubtful
and the time for our marriage, as she at least thought, was at hand.
I, on my part, could not but return the usual embrace, but after the
first few words were over there was a silence, and she noticed that I