assert that she's rippin things. She's knockt trade into a
cockt up hat and chaned Bizness of all kinds tighter nor I ever
chaned any of my livin wild Beests. Alow me to hear dygress &
stait that my Beests at presnt is as harmless as the newborn
Babe. Ladys & gentlemen needn't hav no fears on that pint. To
resoom--Altho I can't exactly see what good this Krysis can do,
I can very quick say what the origernal cawz of her is. The
origernal cawz is Our Afrikan Brother. I was into BARNIM'S
Moozeum down to New York the other day & saw that exsentric
Etheopian, the What Is It. Sez I, "Mister What Is It, you
folks air raisin thunder with this grate country. You're
gettin to be ruther more numeris than interestin. It is a pity
you coodent go orf sumwhares by yourselves, & be a nation of
What Is Its, tho' if you'll excoose me, I shooden't care about
marryin among you. No dowt you're exceedin charmin to hum, but
your stile of luvliness isn't adapted to this cold climit. He
larfed into my face, which rather Riled me, as I had been
perfeckly virtoous and respectable in my observashuns. So sez
I, turnin a leetle red in the face, I spect, "Do you hav the
unblushin impoodents to say you folks haven't raised a big mess
of thunder in this brite land, Mister What Is It?" He larfed
agin, wusser nor be4, whareupon I up and sez, "Go home, Sir, to
Afriky's burnin shores & taik all the other What Is Its along
with you. Don't think we can spair your interestin picters.
You What Is Its air on the pint of smashin up the gratest
Guv'ment ever erected by man, & you actooally hav the owdassity
to larf about it. Go home, you low cuss!"

I was workt up to a high pitch, & I proceeded to a Restorator &
cooled orf with some little fishes biled in ile--I b'leeve thay