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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
page 111 of 227 (48%)
powerful big & in a exceedin large room was his wives &
children, which larst was squawkin and hollerin enuff to take
the roof rite orf the house. The wimin was of all sizes and
ages. Sum was pretty & sum was Plane--sum was helthy and sum
was on the Wayne--which is verses, tho sich was not my
intentions, as I don't 'prove of puttin verses in Proze
rittins, tho ef occashun requires I can Jerk a Poim ekal to any
of them Atlantic Munthly fellers.

"My wives, Mister Ward," sed Yung.

"Your sarvant, marms," sed I, as I sot down in a cheer which a
red-heded female brawt me.

"Besides these wives you see here, Mister Ward," sed Yung, "I
hav eighty more in varis parts of this consecrated land which
air Sealed to me."

"Which?" sez I, gittin up & starin at him.

"Sealed, Sir! sealed."

"Whare bowts?" sez I.

"I sed, Sir, that they was sealed!" He spoke in a traggerdy
voice.

"Will they probly continner on in that stile to any grate
extent, Sir?" I axed.

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