Becum a Preest & hav wives Sealed to you."

"Not a Seal!" sez I, startin back in horror at the idee.

"Oh stay, Sir, stay," sed a tell, gawnt femaile, ore whoos hed
37 summirs must hev parsd, "stay, & I'll be your Jentle
Gazelle."

"Not ef I know it, you won't," sez I. "Awa you skanderlus
femaile, awa! Go & be a Nunnery!" THAT'S WHAT I SED, JES SO.

"& I," sed a fat chunky femaile, who must hev wade more than
too hundred lbs, "I will be your sweet gidin Star!"

Sez I, "Ile bet two dollers and a half you won't!" Whare ear I
may Rome Ile still be troo 2 thee, Oh Betsy Jane! [N.B. Betsy
Jane is my wife's Sir naime.]

"Wiltist thou not tarry here in the promist Land?" sed several
of the miserabil critters.

"Ile see you all essenshally cussed be4 I wiltist!" roared I,
as mad as I cood be at thare infernul noncents. I girdid up my
Lions & fled the Seen. I packt up my duds & Left Salt Lake,
which is a 2nd Soddum & Germorrer, inhabitid by as theavin &
onprincipled a set of retchis as ever drew Breth in eny spot on
the Globe.


1.16. SCANDALOUS DOINGS AT PITTSBURG.