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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
page 45 of 227 (19%)
entertainment. Many of them had reference to the events of the day,
the circumstances of the American War and the politics of the Great
Rebellion. These, of course, have lost their interest with the
passing away of the times which gave them birth. The points of many
of the jokes have corroded, and the barbed head of many an arrow of
Artemus's wit has rusted into bluntness with the decay of the bow
from which it was propelled.

If I remember rightly, the "Babes in the Wood" were never mentioned
more than twice in the whole lecture. First, when the lecturer told
his audience that the "Babes" were to constitute the subject of his
discourse, and then digressed immediately to matters quite foreign
to the story. Then again at the conclusion of the hour and twenty
minutes of drollery, when he finished up in this way: "I now come to
my subject 'The Babes in the Wood.'" Here he would take out his
watch, look at it with affected surprise, put on an appearance of
being greatly perplexed, and amidst roars of laughter from the
people, very gravely continue, "But I find that I have exceeded my
time, and will therefore merely remark that, so far as I know, they
were very good babes--they were as good as ordinary babes. I really
have not time to go into their history. You will find it all in the
story-books. They died in the woods, listening to the woodpecker
tapping the hollow beech-tree. It was a sad fate for them, and I
pity them. So, I hope, do you. Good night!"

Artemus gave his first lecture at Norwich in Connecticut, and
travelled over a considerable portion of the Eastern States before
he ventured to give a sample of his droll oratory in the Western
cities, wherein he had earned reputation as a journalist. Gradually
his popularity became very great, and in place of letting himself
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