weskits and long faces, and lead a gloomy life indeed. No
children's prattle is ever hearn around your harthstuns--you air
in a dreary fog all the time, and you treat the jolly sunshine of
life as tho' it was a thief, drivin it from your doors by them
weskits, and meal bags, and pecooler noshuns of yourn. The gals
among you, sum of which air as slick pieces of caliker as I ever
sot eyes on, air syin to place their heds agin weskits which
kiver honest, manly harts, while you old heds fool yerselves with
the idee that they air fulfillin their mishun here, and air
contented. Here you air all pend up by yerselves, talkin about
the sins of a world you don't know nothin of. Meanwhile said
world continners to resolve round on her own axletree onct in
every 24 hours, subjeck to the Constitution of the United States,
and is a very plesant place of residence. It's a unnatral,
onreasonable and dismal life you're leadin here. So it strikes
me. My Shaker frends, I now bid you a welcome adoo. You hav
treated me exceedin well. Thank you kindly, one and all.

"A base exhibiter of depraved monkeys and onprincipled wax
works!" sed Uriah.

"Hello, Uriah," sez I, "I'd most forgot you. Wall, look out for
them fits of yourn, and don't catch cold and die in the flour of
your youth and beauty."

And I resoomed my jerney.


1.4. HIGH-HANDED OUTRAGE AT UTICA.