I was konfoozed. I was a loonytick fur the time bein, and
offered 5 dollars reward to enny gentleman of good morrul
carracter who wood tell me whot my name was & what town I livd
into. The konducter kum to me & sed the insultid parties wood
settle for 50 dollars, which I immejitly hawled out, & agane
implored sumbuddy to state whare I was prinsipully, & if I
shood be thare a grate while my self ef things went on as
they'd bin goin fur sum time back. I then axed if there was
enny more Octoroons present, "becawz," sez I, "ef there is, let
um cum along, fur Ime in the Octoroon bizniss." I then threw
my specterculs out of the winder, smasht my hat wildly down
over my Ise, larfed highsterically & fell under a seet. I lay
there sum time & fell asleep. I dreamt Mrs. Ward & the twins
had bin carried orf by Ryenosserhosses & that Baldinsville had
bin captered by a army of Octoroons. When I awoked the lamps
was a burnin dimly. Sum of the passinjers was a snorein like
pawpusses & the little damsell in the pinc gown was a singin
"Oft in the Silly nite." The onprinsipuld Octoroon & the
miserbul man in black close was gone, & all of a suddent it
flasht ore my brane that I'de bin swindild.


1.9. EXPERIENCE AS AN EDITOR.

In the Ortum of 18-- my frend, the editor of the Baldinsville
Bugle, was obleged to leave perfeshernal dooties & go & dig his
taters, & he axed me to edit for him dooring his absence.
Accordingly I ground up his Shears and commenced. It didn't
take me a grate while to slash out copy enuff from the xchanges