they made two much of me. They was altogether two lavish with
their attenshuns.

I went amung the Seseshers with no feelins of annermosity. I
went in my perfeshernal capacity. I was actooated by one of
the most Loftiest desires which can swell the human Buzzum,
viz.:--to giv the peeple their money's worth, by showin them
Sagashus Beests, and Wax Statoots, which I venter to say air
onsurpast by any other statoots anywheres. I will not call
that man who sez my statoots is humbugs a lier and a hoss
thief, but bring him be4 me and I'll wither him with one of my
scornful frowns.

But to proseed with my tail. In my travels threw the Sonny
South I heared a heap of talk about Seceshon and bustin up the
Union, but I didn't think it mounted to nothin. The
politicians in all the villages was swearin that Old Abe
(sometimes called the Prahayrie flower) shouldn't never be
noggerated. They also made fools of theirselves in varis
ways, but as they was used to that I didn't let it worry me
much, and the Stars and Stripes continued for to wave over my
little tent. Moor over, I was a Son of Malty and a member of
several other Temperance Societies, and my wife she was a
Dawter of Malty, an I sposed these fax would secoor me the
infloonz and pertectiun of all the fust families. Alas! I
was dispinted. State arter State seseshed and it growed
hotter and hotter for the undersined. Things came to a
climbmacks in a small town in Alabamy, where I was premtorally
ordered to haul down the Stars & Stripes. A deppytashun of
red-faced men cum up to the door of my tent ware I was standin