The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 2: War by Artemus Ward
page 33 of 71 (46%)
page 33 of 71 (46%)
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Scotsburg. That's them. They're Stage-drivers. Stage-
drivers is exempt!" I saw that each stage-driver carried a letter in his left hand. "The mail is hevy, to-day," said the landlord. "Gin'rally they don't have more'n half a dozen letters 'tween 'em. To- day they're got one a piece! Bile my lights and liver!" "And the passengers?" "There ain't any, skacely, now-days," said the landlord, "and what few ther is very much prefer to walk, the roads is so rough." "And how ist with you?" I inquired of the editor of the "Bugle-Horn of Liberty," who sot near me. "I can't go," he said, shakin' his head in a wise way. "Ordinarily I should delight to wade in gore, but my bleedin' country bids me stay at home. It is imperatively necessary that I remain here for the purpose of announcin', from week to week, that OUR GOV'MENT IS ABOUT TO TAKE VIGOROUS MEASURES TO PUT DOWN THE REBELLION!" I strolled into the village oyster-saloon, where I found Dr. SCHWAZEY, a leadin' citizen in a state of mind which showed that he'd bin histin' in more'n his share of pizen. |
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