The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 2: War by Artemus Ward
page 39 of 71 (54%)
page 39 of 71 (54%)
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eclipse them in the most signal manner. It is my privilege to
tell how W-- succeeded in this determination. The great day came. It was ushered in by the roar of musketry, the ringing of the village church bell, the squeaking of fifes, and the rattling of drums. People poured into the village from all over the county. Never had W-- experienced such a jam. Never had there been such an onslaught upon gingerbread carts. Never had New England rum (for this was before Neal Dow's day) flowed so freely. And W--'s fair daughters, who mounted the house-tops to see the surrender, had never looked fairer. The old folks came, too, and among them were several war-scarred heroes, who had fought gallantly at Monmouth and Yorktown. These brave sons of '76 took no part in the demonstration, but an honored bench was set apart for their exclusive use on the piazza of Sile Smith's store. When they were dry all they had to do was to sing out to Sile's boy, Jerry, "a leetle New Englan' this way, if YOU please." It was brought forthwith. At precisely 9 o'clock, by the schoolmaster's new "Lepeen" watch, the American and British forces marched on to the village green and placed themselves in battle array, reminding the spectator of the time when "Brave Wolfe drew up his men In a style most pretty, On the Plains of Abraham Before the city." |
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