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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 2: War by Artemus Ward
page 42 of 71 (59%)
Washington up in his saddle, and requested Cornwallis to
proceed with his remarks.

"General Washington," said Cornwallis, "the British Lion
prostrates himself at the feet of the American Eagle!"

"EAGLE? EAGLE!" yelled the infuriated Washington, rolling off
his horse and hitting Cornwallis a frightful blow on the head
with the flat of his sword, "do you call me a EAGLE, you mean,
sneakin' cuss?" He struck him again, sending him to the
ground, and said, "I'll learn you to call me a Eagle, you
infernal scoundrel!"

Cornwallis remained upon the ground only a moment. Smarting
from the blows he had received, he arose with an entirely
unlooked for recuperation on the part of the fallen, and in
direct defiance of historical example; in spite of the men of
both nations, indeed, he whipped the Immortal Washington until
he roared for mercy.

The Americans, at first mortified and indignant at the conduct
of their chief, now began to sympathize with him, and resolved
to whip their mock foes in earnest. They rushed fiercely upon
them, but the British were really the stronger party and drove
the Americans back. Not content with this they charged madly
upon them and drove them from the field--from the village, in
fact. There were many heads damaged, eyes draped in mourning,
noses fractured and legs lamed--it is a wonder that no one was
killed outright.

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