The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 2: War by Artemus Ward
page 58 of 71 (81%)
page 58 of 71 (81%)
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sed boldly I was triflin with the feelin's of a intelligent
public. I know no such man as Olonzo Ward. I do not even wish his name breathed in my presents. I do not recognize him. I perfectly disgust him. RICHMOND. The old man finds hisself once more in a Sunny climb. I cum here a few days arter the city catterpillertulated. My naburs seemed surprised & astonisht at this darin' bravery onto the part of a man at my time of life, but our family was never know'd to quale in danger's stormy hour. My father was a sutler in the Revolootion War. My father once had a intervoo with Gin'ral La Fayette. He asked La Fayette to lend him five dollars, promisin' to pay him in the Fall; but Lafy said "he couldn't see it in those lamps." Lafy was French, and his knowledge of our langwidge was a little shaky. Immejutly on my 'rival here I perceeded to the Spotswood House, and callin' to my assistans a young man from our town who writes a good runnin' hand, I put my ortograph on the Register, and handin' my umbrella to a baldheded man behind the counter, who I s'posed was Mr. Spotswood, I said, "Spotsy, how does she run?" He called a cullud purson, and said, |
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