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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and Romances by Artemus Ward
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from youth to age, and then leaving them like a che-eild? Why
this tremors? Why these Sadfulness?"

"Mabeyuel!" he cried. "Mabeyuel! They've Drafted me into the
Army!"

An orderly Surgeant now appears and says, "Come, Philander, let's
be a-marching;" And he tore her from his embrace (P.'s) and
marched the conscript to the Examining Surgeon's office.

Mabel fainted in two places. It was worse than Brother's
Fainting at the Door.

CHAPTER III.--THE CONSCRIPT.

Philander Reed hadn't three hundred dollars, being a dead-broken
Reed, so he must either become one of the noble Band who are
Coming, Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more, or skedaddle
across the St. Lawrence River to the Canada Line. As his
opinions had recently undergone a radical change, he chose the
latter course, and was soon Afloat, afloat, on the swift rolling
tide. "Row, brothers, row," he cried, "the stream runs fast, the
Sergeant is near, and the Zamination's past, and I'm a able-
bodied man."

Landing, he at once imprinted a conservative kiss on the Canada
Line, and feelingly asked himself, "Who will care for Mother now?
But I propose to stick it out on this Line if it takes all
Summer."

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