The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and Romances by Artemus Ward
page 14 of 50 (28%)
page 14 of 50 (28%)
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from youth to age, and then leaving them like a che-eild? Why
this tremors? Why these Sadfulness?" "Mabeyuel!" he cried. "Mabeyuel! They've Drafted me into the Army!" An orderly Surgeant now appears and says, "Come, Philander, let's be a-marching;" And he tore her from his embrace (P.'s) and marched the conscript to the Examining Surgeon's office. Mabel fainted in two places. It was worse than Brother's Fainting at the Door. CHAPTER III.--THE CONSCRIPT. Philander Reed hadn't three hundred dollars, being a dead-broken Reed, so he must either become one of the noble Band who are Coming, Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more, or skedaddle across the St. Lawrence River to the Canada Line. As his opinions had recently undergone a radical change, he chose the latter course, and was soon Afloat, afloat, on the swift rolling tide. "Row, brothers, row," he cried, "the stream runs fast, the Sergeant is near, and the Zamination's past, and I'm a able- bodied man." Landing, he at once imprinted a conservative kiss on the Canada Line, and feelingly asked himself, "Who will care for Mother now? But I propose to stick it out on this Line if it takes all Summer." |
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