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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and Romances by Artemus Ward
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weeks at Oberlin College. He was a man of great hardihood, also,
and would frequently read an entire column of "railway matters"
in the "Cleveland Herald" without shrieking with agony.

CHAPTER II.--THE KING.

The tyrant Richard the III. (late Mr. Gloster) sat upon his
throne in the Palace d' St. Cloud. He was dressed in his best
clothes, and gorgeous trappings surrounded him everywhere.
Courtiers, in glittering and golden armor, stood ready at his
beck. He sat moodily for a while, when suddenly his sword
flashed from its silver scabbard, and he shouted--

"Slaves, some wine, ho!"

The words had scarcely escaped his lips ere a bucket of champagne
and a hoe were placed before him.

As the king raised the bucket to his lips, a deep voice near by,
proceeding from the mouth of the noble Count Staghisnibs, cried--
"Drink hearty, old feller."

"Reports traveling on lightning-wings, whisper of strange goings
on and cuttings up throughout this kingdom. Knowest thou aught
of these things, most noble Hellitysplit?" and the king drew from
the upper pocket of his gold-faced vest a paper of John
Anderson's solace and proceeded to take a chaw.

"Treason stalks monster-like throughout unhappy France, my
liege!" said the noble Hellitysplit. "The ranks of the P.Q.R.'s
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