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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 3: Stories and Romances by Artemus Ward
page 38 of 50 (76%)
among the musty and ponderous volumes with all the enthusiasm of
a wild young Irishman, and commenced cramming his head with law
at a startling rate. He lodged in the back-room of the office,
and previous to retiring he used to sing the favorite ballads of
his own Emerald Isle. The boy who was employed in the office
directly across the hall used to go to the Irishman's door and
stick his ear to the key-hole with a view to drinking in the
gushing melody by the quart or perhaps pailful. This vexed Mr.
Culkins, and considerably marred the pleasure of the thing, as
witness the following:--

"O come to me when daylight sets.

[What yez doing at that door, yer d--d spalpane?]

Sweet, then come to me!

[I'll twist the nose off yez presently, me honey!]

When softly glide our gondolettes

[Bedad, I'll do murther to yez, young gintlemin!]

O'er the moonlit sea."

Of course, this couldn't continue. This, in short, was rather
more than the blood of the Culkinses could stand, so the young
man, through whose veins such a powerful lot of that blood
courses, sprang to the door, seized the eavesdropping boy, drew
him within, and commenced to severely chastise him. The boy's
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