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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 4: To California and Return by Artemus Ward
page 34 of 72 (47%)
angel.

Mr. Stenhouse relieves me of any anxiety I had felt in regard to
having my swan-like throat cut by the Danites, but thinks my
wholesale denunciation of a people I had never seen was rather
hasty. The following is the paragraph to which the Saints
objected. It occurs in an "Artemus Ward" paper on Brigham Young,
written some years ago:

"I girded up my Lions and fled the Seen. I packt up my duds and
left Salt Lake, which is a 2nd Soddum and Germorer, inhabited by as
theavin' & onprincipled a set of retchis as ever drew Breth in eny
spot on the Globe."

I had forgotten all about this, and as Elder Stenhouse read it to
me "my feelings may be better imagined than described," to use
language I think I have heard before. I pleaded, however, that it
was a purely burlesque sketch, and that this strong paragraph
should not be interpreted literally at all. The Elder didn't seem
to see it in that light, but we parted pleasantly.

4.10. THE MOUNTAIN FEVER.

I go back to my hotel and go to bed, and I do not get up again for
two weary weeks. I have the mountain fever (so called in Utah,
though it closely resembles the old-style typhus) and my case is
pronounced dangerous. I don't regard it so. I don't, in fact,
regard anything. I am all right, MYSELF. My poor Hingston shakes
his head sadly, and Dr. Williamson, from Camp Douglas, pours all
kinds of bitter stuff down my throat. I drink his health in a dose
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