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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 4: To California and Return by Artemus Ward
page 57 of 72 (79%)
Col. Chivington vanquished the rebels with his brave Colorado
troops, in New Mexico last year, as most people know. At the
commencement of the action, which was hotly contested, a shell from
the enemy exploded near him, tearing up the ground, and causing
Captain Rogers to swear in an awful manner.

"Captain Rogers," said the Colonel, " gentlemen do not swear on a
solemn occasion like this. We may fall, but falling in a glorious
cause, let us die as Christians, not as rowdies, with oaths upon
our lips. Captain Rogers, let us -"

Another shell, a sprightlier one than its predecessor, tears the
earth fearfully in the immediate vicinity of Col. Chivington,
filling his eyes with dirt and knocking off his hat.

"Why, G- d- Their souls to h- ," he roared, "they've put
my eyes out- AS CAPTAIN ROGERS WOULD SAY!"

But the Colonel's eyes were not seriously damaged, and he went in.
Went in, and came out victorious.

. . . .

We reach Julesberg, Colorado, the 1st of March. We are in the
country of the Sioux Indians now, and encounter them by the
hundred. A Chief offers to sell me his daughter (a fair young
Indian maiden) for six dollars and two quarts of whisky. I decline
to trade.

Meals which have hitherto been 1 dol. Are now 75 cents. Eggs
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