Ouse," said the landlord. "I look to you," he added, "to clear
up this dark, this orful mistry!"

I wringed the lan'lord's honest hand, and told him to consider
the mistry cleared up.

I gained axes to the misterus bein's room, and by talkin sweet to
him for a few minits, I found out who he was. Then returnin to
the lan'lord, who was nervisly pacin up and down the bar, I said,

"Sweet ROLANDO, don't tremble no more! I've torn the marsk from
the hawty stranger's face, and dived into the recesses of his
inmost sole! He's a Trans-Mejim."

I'd been to the Beefanham theatre the previs evenin, and probly
the drammer I saw affected me, because I'm not in the habit of
goin on as per above. I like the Beefanham theatre very much
indeed, because there a enthoosiastic lover of the theatre like
myself can unite the legitermit drammer with fish. Thus, while
your enrapterd soul drinks in the lorfty and noble sentences of
the gifted artists, you can eat a biled mack'ril jest as
comfor'bly as in your own house. I felt constrained, however, to
tell a fond mother who sot immegitly behind me, and who was
accompanied by a gin bottle, and a young infant--I felt
constrained to tell that mother, when her infant playfully
mingled a rayther oily mack'ril with the little hair which is
left on my vener'ble hed, that I had a bottle of scented hair oil
at home, which on the whole I tho't I preferred to that which her
orfspring was greasin me with. This riled the excellent feamale,
and she said: