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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 5: The London Punch Letters by Artemus Ward
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breakfast, given to him by my father, and made the clergyman as
united him a present of my father's new overcoat, and when my
father on discoverin' it got in a rage and denounced him, Uncle
Wilyim said the old man (meanin my parent) hadn't any idee of
first class Humer!--with the exception of this wretched Uncle the
escutchin of my fam'ly has never been stained by Games. The
little harmless deceptions I resort to in my perfeshion I do not
call Games. They are sacrifisses to Art.

I come of a very clever fam'ly.

The Wards is a very clever fam'ly indeed.

I believe we are descendid from the Puritins, who nobly fled from
a land of despitism to a land of freedim, where they could not
only enjoy their own religion, but prevent everybody else from
enjoyin HIS.

As I said before, we are a very clever fam'ly.

I was strolling up Regent Street the other day, thinkin what a
clever fam'ly I come of, and looking at the gay shop-winders.
I've got some new close since you last saw me. I saw them others
wouldn't do. They carrid the observer too far back into the dim
vister of the past, and I gave 'em to a Orfun Asylum. The close
I wear now I bo't of Mr. Moses, in the Commercial Road. They was
expressly made, Mr. Moses inforemd me, for a nobleman, but as
they fitted him too muchly, partic'ly the trows'rs (which is
blue, with large red and white checks) he had said:

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