The remembrance often makes me ask--"Where are the boys of
my youth?"--I assure you this is not a conundrum.--Some are
amongst you here--some in America--some are in gaol.--

Hence arises a most touching question--"Where are the girls
of my youth?" Some are married--some would like to be.

Oh my Maria! Alas! she married another. They frequently
do. I hope she is happy--because I am. (Spoken with a
sigh. It was a joke which always told. Artemus never
failed to use it in his "Babes in the Wood" lecture, and the
"Sixty Minutes in Africa," as well as in the Mormon story.)
--some people are not happy. I have noticed that.

A gentleman friend of mine came to me one day with tears in
his eyes. I said, "Why these weeps?" He said he had a
mortgage on his farm--and wanted to borrow 200 pounds. I
lent him the money--and he went away. Some time after he
returned with more tears. He said he must leave me for
ever. I ventured to remind him of the 200 pounds he
borrowed. He was much cut up. I thought I would not be hard
upon him--so I told him I would throw off one hundred
pounds. He brightened--shook my hand--and said--"Old
friend--I won't allow you to outdo me in liberality--I'll
throw off the other hundred."

As a manager I was always rather more successful than as an
actor.