two years ago, by makin remarks disrespectful of my animals,
accompanied by a allosan to the front part of my hed, which, as you
see, it is Bald--sayin,-- says this young man, 'You sandpaper it too
much, but you've got a beautiful head of hair in the back of your
neck, old man.' This made a few ignent and low-mindid persons larf;
but what was the fate of that young man? In less than a month his
aunt died and left him a farm in Oxford county, Maine! The human
mind can pictur no grater misfortun than this.

"No, my Irish frens, I am here as your naber and fren. I know YOU
are honest in this Finian matter.

"But let us look at them Head Centers. Let us look at them
rip-roarin orators in New York, who've bin tearin round for up'ards
a year, swearin Ireland shall be free.

"There's two parties--O'McMahoneys and McO'Roberts. One thinks the
best way is to go over to Canady and establish a Irish Republic
there, kindly permittin the Canadians to pay the expenses of that
sweet Boon; and the other wants to sail direck for Dublin Bay, where
young McRoy and his fair young bride went down and was drownded,
accordin to a ballad I onct heard. But there's one pint on which
both sides agree--that's the Funs. They're willin, them chaps in
New York, to receive all the Funs you'll send 'em. You send a puss
tonight to Mahony, and another puss to Roberts. Both will receive
'em. You bet. And with other pusses it will be sim'lar.

"I went into Mr. Delmonico's eatin-house the other night, and I saw
my fren Mr. Terence McFadden, who is a elekent and enterprisin
deputy Centre. He was sittin at a table, eatin a canvas-back duck.