knife into him, Caesar admitted that he was gone up. His funeral
was a great success, the house bein crowded to its utmost capacity.
Ten minutes after the doors were opened, the Ushers had to put up
cards on which was prntd, "Standin Room Only."

I went to bed at last. "And so," I said, "thou hast no ear for
sweet melody?"

A silvery snore was my only answer.

BETSY SLEPT.

Artemus Ward.

7.6. ARTEMUS WARD IN WASHINGTON.

[The following paper was contributed by Mr. Browne to "Vanity Fair,"
the New York "Punch," which terminated its career during the late
war. Some of the allusions are, of course, to matters long past;
but the old fun and genuine humour of the showman are as enjoyable
now as when first written.]

Washington, April 17, 1863.

My wife stood before the lookin-glass, a fussin up her hair.

"What you doin, Betsy?" I inquired.

"Doin up my back hair," she replied.