pashun for gratooitous drinks. And in this conjunction I will
relate an incident. I notist for several days a large Hearse
standin in front of the principal tavern on Pennsylvany Avenoo.
"Can you tell me, my fair Castillian," sed I this mornin, to a young
Spaniard from Tipperary, who was blackin boots in the washroom--"can
you tell me what those Hearse is kept standin out there for?"

"Well, you see our Bar bisness is great. You've no idee of the
number of People who drink at our Bar durin a day. You see those
Hearse is necessary."

I SAW.

Standin in front of the tarvuns of Pennsylvany Avenoo is a lot of
miserbul wretches,--black, white and ring-strickid, and freckled--
with long whips in their hands, who frowns upon you like the wulture
upon the turtle-dove the minit you dismerge from hotel. They own
yonder four-wheeled startlin curiositys, which were used years and
years ago by the fust settlers of Virginny to carry live hogs to
market in. The best carriage I saw in the entire collection was
used by Pockyhontas, sum two hundred years ago, as a goat-pen.
Becumin so used up that it couldn't hold goats, that fair and gentle
savage put it up at auction. Subsekently it was used as a hospital
for sick calves, then as a hencoop, and finally it was put on wheels
and is now doin duty as a hack.

I called on Secretary Welles, of the Navy. You know he is quite a
mariner himself, havin once owned a Raft of logs on the Connethycut
river. So I put on saler stile and hollered: "Ahoy, shipmet! Tip
us yer grapplin irons!"