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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 7: Miscellaneous by Artemus Ward
page 38 of 76 (50%)

The man with the blue hog was there. Says he, "Gentle-MEN, this
beast can't turn round in a crockery crate ten feet square, and is
of a bright indigo blue. Over five hundred persons have seen this
wonderful BEING this mornin, and they said as they come out, 'What
can these 'ere things be? Is it alive? Doth it breathe and have a
being? Ah yes,' they say, 'it is true, and we have saw a
entertainment as we never saw afore. 'Tis nature's [only fifteen
cents--'ere's your change, sir] own sublime hand-works'--and walk
right in."

The man with the wild mare was there.

"Now, then, my friends, is your time to see the gerratist
queeriosity in the livin' world--a wild mare without no hair--
captered on the roarin wild prahayries of the far distant West by
sixteen Injuns. Don't fail to see this gerrate exhibition. Only
fifteen cents. Don't go hum without seein the State Fair, an' you
won't see the State Fair without you see my show. Gerratist
exhibition in the known world, an' all for the small sum of fifteen
cents."

Two gentlemen connected with the press here walked up and asked the
showman, in a still small voice, if he extended the usual courtesies
to editors. He said he did, and requested them to go in. While
they were in some sly dog told him their names. When they came out
the showman pretended to talk with them, though he didn't say a
word. They were evidently in a hurry.

"There, gentleMEN, what do you think them gentlemen say? They air
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