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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 7: Miscellaneous by Artemus Ward
page 49 of 76 (64%)
his beer-casks.

"And yours!" shouted the excited female, addressing me. "He is also
your brother!"

"No, I think not, marm," I pleasantly replied. "The nearest we come
to that color in our family was the case of my brother John. He had
the janders for sev'ral years, but they finally left him. I am
happy to state that, at the present time, he hasn't a solitary
jander."

"Look at this man!" screamed the female.

I looked at him. He was an able-bodied, well-dressed,
comfortable-looking negro. He looked as though he might heave three
or four good meals a day into him without a murmur.

"Look a that down-trodden man!" cried the female.

"Who trod on him?" I inquired.

"Villains! despots!"

"Well," said the lan'lord, "why don't you go to the willins about
it? Why do you come here tellin us niggers is our brothers, and
brandishin your umbrellers round us like a lot of lunytics? You're
wuss than the sperrit-rappers!"

"Have you," said middle-aged female No. 2, who was a quieter sort of
person, "have you no sentiment--no poetry in your soul--no love for
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