The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 7: Miscellaneous by Artemus Ward
page 59 of 76 (77%)
page 59 of 76 (77%)
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that it may be included in the present edition.]
The solumncholies hev bin on-to A. W. now and agin, as it dus to most ov the four-lorned human naturs in this Vayl of Tares. She's tickled me considerabull sumtims--only it was the wrong wa. Most human naturs git tickled the wrong wa sumtims. She was heviest onter me the fust yeer I ever owned a Umbrellar. I was going on 18 yeer old then, and praid for rane as bad as any dride-up farmer. I wantid to show that umBrellar--I wantid to mak sum persnul apeerents with that brellar--I desirud Jim parker and Hiram Goss to witness the site--I felt my birthWrite was bowned up in that brellar--I wantid to be a MAN! I'd un-hook'd frum Betsy Jain fur a spell--(canfidenshal, leastways, I hadn't commenced cortin up to her rite down in ernest then)--and kum evenin I went over to the Widder Blakes. I'd the umBrellar along, and opun'd it outside the door--pretendin I couldn't klose it like, so that the dawter could hev a good Luke at my property. But it wuz no use; the new Brellar didn't take, and Sally sed she thort I "needn't cum agin !" I hev bin many wheres, and seen sum few in this erthly Tavernknuckle, but ov all the solum hours I ever speeriunsed the 1 ockepied in going hum that partickler nite frum the Widders was the most solumm. I'd a mind to throw awa that Brellar more'n onct as I went along. 7.18. AN AFFECTING POEM. |
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