The gentleman who acts as my manager is somebody else. I must ask
the indulgence of the audience for twenty minutes, while I drop a few
tears to his memory. (Here Artemus holds his head over a barrel, and
the distinct dripping of a copious shower is heard.)

As I feel a little better, I will recommence my lecture--I don't mean
to defend Mormonism--indeed, I have no hesitation in affirming, and I
affirm it boldly, and I would repeat the observation to my own wife's
face, if I had one, but as I haven't one, I'll say it boldly to every
other man's wife, that I don't think it wise to marry more than one
wife at a time, without it is done to oblige the ladies, and then it
should be done sparingly, and not oftener than three times a day, for
the marriage ceremony isn't lightly to be repeated. But I want to
tell you what Brigham Young observed to me.

"Artemus, my boy," said he, "you don't know how often a man marries
against his will. Let me recite one case out of a hundred that has
happened to myself. About three months ago a family arrived here--
they were from Hoboken--everybody knows how beautiful the Jersey
girls are--with the exception of applejack, they are the nicest
things Jersey produces. Well, this family consisted of four
daughters, a mother and two grandmothers, one with teeth, the other
without. I took a fancy to the youngest of the girls, and proposed.
After considerable reflection she said: 'I can't think of marrying
you without you marry my three sisters as well.'

"After some considerable hesitation I agreed, and went to the girl's
mother for her consent: 'No objection to your marrying my four girls,
but you'll have to take me as well.' After a little reflection, I