It is the object of this society to promote parties and splits in
general, and since of late we have perceived disunion among friends
to be not nearly so ripe as in the Bible it is plainly commanded to
be, we the members of this club have investigated the means of
producing, fostering, and invigorating strife of all kinds, whereby
the society of man will be profited much. For in a few hours we can
by the means we have discovered create so beautiful a dissension
between two who have lately been friends, that they shall never
speak of one another again, and their spirit is to be greatly
admired and praised for this. And since it is the great goddess
Talebearer who has contributed especially to our success, inasmuch
as where she is not strife will cease as surely as the fire goeth
out when there is no wood to feed it, we will erect an altar to her
and perform monthly rites at her shrine in a manner hereafter to be
detailed. And all men shall do homage to her, for who is there that
hath not felt her benefits? And the rites shall be of a cheerful
character, and all the world shall be right merry, and we will write
her a hymn and Walmisley {4} shall set it to music. And any shall
be eligible to this society by only changing his name; for this is
one of its happiest hits, to give a name to each of its members
arising from some mental peculiarity (which the gods and peacemakers
call "foible"), whereby each being perpetually kept in mind of this
defect and being always willing to justify it shall raise a clamour
and cause much delight to the assembly.

And we will have suppers once a month both to do honour unto
Talebearer and to promote her interest. And the society has laid
down a form of conversation to be used at all such meetings, which
shall engender quarrellings even in the most unfavourable
dispositions, and inflame the anger of one and all; and having