vehement supporters, yet it is the good goddess Talebearer who
nourisheth the seed of mischief thus sown.

It is also strictly forbidden by this society's laws to form a firm
friendship grounded upon esteem and a perception of great and good
qualities in the object of one's liking, for this kind of friendship
lasts a long time--nay, for life; but each member must have a
furious and passionate running after his friend for the time being,
insomuch that he could never part for an instant from him. And when
the society sees this it feels comfortable, for it is quite certain
that its objects are being promoted, for this cannot be brought
about by any but unnatural means and is the foundation and very soul
of quarrelling. The stroking of the hair and affectionate
embracings are much recommended, for they are so manly.

And at the suppers and the rites of Talebearer each member is to
drop an anonymous opinion of some other member's character into a
common letter box, and the president shall read them out. Each
member is to defend himself; the formula for the commencement of
each speech being: "I know who wrote that about me, and it is a
very blackguardly thing of him to say . . . "

N.B.--Any number of persons are allowed to speak at the same time.
By these means it is hoped to restore strife and dissension to the
world, now alas! so fatally subjugated to a mean-spirited thing
called Charity, which during the last month has been perfectly
rampant in the college. Yes, we will give a helping hand to
bickerings, petty jealousies, back-bitings, and all sorts of good
things, and will be as jolly as ninepence and--who'll be the first
president?