Ase--and I says: 'Ed, you know what's good for folks who can't see?
Ain't there nothin',' says I, 'that'll help them who can't hear? How
about ear trumpets?' And Ed wrote that an ear trumpet would probably
help some, but why didn't I try a pair of them patent fixin's that are
made to put inside deef people's ears? He'd known of cases where they
helped a lot. So I sent for a pair, and the biggest ear trumpet made,
besides. And when I met Debby to-day I give 'em to her and told her to
put the patent things IN her ears and couple on the trumpet outside
'em. And not to say nothin' to you, but just surprise you. And it did
surprise you, didn't it?"

The wrathful Mr. Tidditt could wait no longer. He burst into a vivid
description of the "surprise." Bailey was aghast. Captain Cy laughed
until his face was purple.

"I declare, Cy!" exclaimed the dejected purchaser of the "ear fixin's"
and the trumpet. "I do declare I'm awful sorry! if you'd only told me
she was no good I'd have let her alone; but I thought 'twas just the
deefness. I--I--"

"I know, Bailey; you meant well, like the layin'-on-of-hands doctor who
rubbed the rheumatic man's wooden leg. All right; _I_ forgive you. 'Twas
worth it all to see Asaph's face when Marm Beasley was complimentin'
him. Ha! ha! Oh, dear me! I've laughed till I'm sore. But there's one
thing I SHOULD like to do, if you don't mind: I should like to pick out
my next housekeeper myself."



CHAPTER V