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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1746-47 by Earl of Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
page 46 of 54 (85%)
only lament, if they should prove such as are unbecoming a man of honor,
or below a man of sense. But you will be the real sufferer, if they are
such. As therefore, it is plain that I can have no other motive than that
of affection in whatever I say to you, you ought to look upon me as your
best, and, for some years to come, your only friend.

True friendship requires certain proportions of age and manners, and can
never subsist where they are extremely different, except in the relations
of parent and child, where affection on one side, and regard on the
other, make up the difference. The friendship which you may contract with
people of your own age may be sincere, may be warm; but must be, for some
time, reciprocally unprofitable, as there can be no experience on either
side. The young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind;
(they will both fall into the ditch.) The only sure guide is, he who has
often gone the road which you want to go. Let me be that guide; who have
gone all roads, and who can consequently point out to you the best. If
you ask me why I went any of the bad roads myself, I will answer you very
truly, That it was for want of a good guide: ill example invited me one
way, and a good guide was wanting to show me a better. But if anybody,
capable of advising me, had taken the same pains with me, which I have
taken, and will continue to take with you, I should have avoided many
follies and inconveniences, which undirected youth run me into. My father
was neither desirous nor able to advise me; which is what, I hope, you
cannot say of yours. You see that I make use, only of the word advice;
because I would much rather have the assent of your reason to my advice,
than the submission of your will to my, authority. This, I persuade
myself, will happen, from that degree of sense which I think you have;
and therefore I will go on advising, and with hopes of success.

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