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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 by Earl of Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
page 43 of 147 (29%)
would afterward follow you to the mixed companies of the evening; such as
assemblies, suppers, etc., and there watch if you trifled gracefully and
genteelly: if your good-breeding and politeness made way for your parts
and knowledge. With what pleasure should I hear people cry out, 'Che
garbato cavaliere, com' e pulito, disinvolto, spiritoso'! If all these
things turned out to my mind, I would immediately assume my own shape,
become visible, and embrace you: but if the contrary happened, I would
preserve my invisibility, make the best of my way home again, and sink my
disappointment upon you and the world. As, unfortunately, these
supernatural powers of genii, fairies, sylphs, and gnomes, have had the
fate of the oracles they succeeded, and have ceased for some time, I must
content myself (till we meet naturally, and in the common way) with Mr.
Harte's written accounts of you, and the verbal ones which I now and then
receive from people who have seen you. However, I believe it would do you
no harm, if you would always imagine that I were present, and saw and
heard everything you did and said.

There is a certain concurrence of various little circumstances which
compose what the French call 'l'aimable'; and which, now that you are
entering into the world, you ought to make it your particular study to
acquire. Without them, your learning will be pedantry, your conversation
often improper, always unpleasant, and your figure, however good in
itself, awkward and unengaging. A diamond, while rough, has indeed its
intrinsic value; but, till polished, is of no use, and would neither be
sought for nor worn. Its great lustre, it is true, proceeds from its
solidity and strong cohesion of parts; but without the last polish, it
would remain forever a dirty, rough mineral, in the cabinets of some few
curious collectors. You have; I hope, that solidity and cohesion of
parts; take now as much pains to get the lustre. Good company, if you
make the right use of it, will cut you into shape, and give you the true
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