occasion to ride, I took off my boots and stockin's merely --
merely to pass away time. You know at fashionable resorts," says
he, "it is sometimes hard for men to pass away time."

Says I in low, deep accents, "Do put on your stockin's, and your
boots, if you can get 'em on, which I doubt, but put your
stockin's on this minute, and get in, and ride."

"Yes," says Ezra, "hurry up and get in, Josiah Allen, it must be
dretful oncomfortabe a settin' down there in the grass."

"Oh, no!" says Josiah, and he kinder whistled a few bars of no
tune that wuz ever heard on, or ever will be heard on agin, so
wild and meloncholy it wuz -- "I sot down here kind o' careless.
I thought seein' I hadn't much on hand to do at this time o' year,
I thought I would like to look at my feet -- we hain't got a very
big lookin' glass in our room."

Oh, how incoherent and over-crazed he was a becomin'! Who ever
heard of seein' anybody's feet in a lookin' glass -- of dependin'
on a lookin' glass for a sight on 'em? Oh, how I pitied that man!
and I bent down and says to him in soothin' axents: "Josiah Allen,
to please your pardner you put on your stockin's and get into this
buggy. Take your boots in your hand, Josiah, I know you can't get
'em on, you have walked too far for them corns. Corns that are
trampled on, Josiah Allen, rise up and rends you, or me, or
anybody else who owns 'em or tramples on 'em. It hain't your
fault, nobody blames you. Now get right in."

"Yes, do," says the Deacon.