But in the matter of whiskers, there I was powerless. He trimmed
'em (unbeknow to me) all off the side of his face, them good
honerable side whiskers of hisen, that had stood by him for years
in solemnity and decency, and begun to cultivate a little patch on
the end of his chin. I argued with him, and talked well on the
subject, eloquent, but it wuz of no use, I might as well have
argued with the wind in March.

He said, he wuz bound on goin' into Saratoga with a fashionable
whisker, come what would.

And then I sithed, and he sez, -- " You have broke up my pantaloons,
my vest, and my neck-tie, you have ground me down onto plain
broadcloth, but in the matter of whiskers I am firm! Yes!" sez he
"on these whiskers I take my stand!"

And agin I sithed heavy, and I sez in a dretful impressive way, as
I looked on 'em, "Josiah Allen, remember you are a father and a
grandfather!"

And he sez firmly, "If I wuz a great-grandfather I would trim my
whiskers in jest this way, that is if I wuz a goin' to set up to
be fashionable and a goin' to Saratoga for my health."

And I groaned kinder low to myself, and kep' hopin' that mebby
they wouldn't grow very fast, or that some axident would happen to
'em, that they would get afire or sunthin'. But they didn't. And
they grew from day to day luxurient in length, but thin. And his
watchful care kep' 'em from axident, and I wuz too high princepled
to set fire to 'em when he wuz asleep, though sometimes, on a