goin' to pay out my money to see that rack-a-bone that I wouldn't
have a layin' out in my barn-yard for fear of scerin' the dumb
scere-crows out in the lot. Do you s'pose I'm goin' to pay out
my money for seein' that dried-up mummy of the hombliest thing
ever made on earth, the dumbdest, hombliest; with 2 or 3 horse
hairs pasted onto its yellow old shell! Do you spose I'm goin'
to be cheated by seein' that, into thinkin' it is a beautiful
creeter a playin' and combin' her hair? Bring on that beautiful
creeter a combin' out her long, golden hair this instant, and
bring out the comb and I'll give you five minutes to do it in."

He wuz hoorse with emotion, and he wuz pale round his lips as
anything and leis eyes under his forward looked glassy. I wuz
fearful of the result.

Thinkses I, I will look and see what has wrecked my pardner's
happiness and almost reasen. I looked in and I see plain that
his agitation was nothin' to be wondered at. It did truly seem
to be the hombliest, frightfulest lookin' little thing that wuz
ever made by a benignant Providence or a taxy-dermis. I couldn't
tell which made it. I see it all, but I see also, so firm, sot
is my reasun onto its high throne on my heart, I see that to
preserve my pardner's sanity, I must control my reasun at the
sight that had tottered my pardner's.

I turned to him, and tried to calm the seethin' waters, but he
loudly called for the comb, and for the tresses, and the lookin'
glass. And, askin' in a wild' sarcastic way where the song wuz
that she sung to mariners? And hollerin' for him to bring on
that rock at that minute, and them mariners, and ordered him to