it throws 'em, and they lay under the heels for life. I don't
want to see Ardelia there, I don't want to see her maimed and
lamed and stunted so early in the mornin' of life, by a kick from
that animal, for she can't ride it," sez I, "honestly she can't.

"There is nothin' so useless in life, and so sort a wearin' as to
be a lookin' for sunthin' that haint there. And when you pretend
it is there when it haint, you are addin' iniquity to uselessness;
so if you'll take my advice, the advice of a wellwisher, you will
stop lookin', for I tell you plain that it haint there."

Sez Miss Tutt, "Josiah Allen's wife, you have for reasens best
known to your conscience baulked my hopes of a speedy immortality.
You have willfully tried to break down my hopes of an immense,
immediate income to flow out of them poems for luxuries, jewelry,
charity, etc. But I can at least claim this at your hands, I
demand honesty. Tell me honestly what you yourself think of them
poems."

Sez I (gettin' up sort a quick and goin' into the buttery, and
bringin' out a little basket), "Here are some beautiful sweet
apples, won't you have one?"

"Apples, at such a time as this;" sez Miss Tutt

"When the slumberin' world trembles before the advancin' tread of
a new poet -- When the heavens are listenin' intently to ketch the
whispers of an Ardelia's fate -- Sweet apples! in such a time as
this!" sez she. But she took two.