his legs, as the hydra-headed rushed down in insane, headlong haste to
stare at, and crush on to, that superb body of Guards.

"I would give a kingdom for a soda and brandy. Bah! ye gods! What a
smell of fish and fustian," signed Bertie, with a yawn of utter famine
for want of something to drink and something to smoke, were it only a
glass of brown sherry and a little papelito, while he glanced down
at the snow-white and jet-black masterpieces of Rake's genius, all
smirched, and splashed, and smeared.

He had given fifty pounds away, and scarcely knew whether he should have
enough to take his ticket next day into the Shires, and he owed fifty
hundred without having the slightest grounds for supposing he should
ever be able to pay it, and he cared no more about either of these
things than he cared about the Zu-Zu's throwing the half-guinea
peaches into the river after a Richmond dinner, in the effort to hit
dragon-flies with them; but to be half a day without a cigarette, and to
have a disagreeable odor of apples and corduroys wafted up to him, was a
calamity that made him insupportably depressed and unhappy.

Well, why not? It is the trifles of life that are its bores, after all.
Most men can meet ruin calmly, for instance, or laugh when they lie in a
ditch with their own knee-joint and their hunter's spine broken over the
double post and rails: it is the mud that has choked up your horn just
when you wanted to rally the pack; it's the whip who carries you off
to a division just when you've sat down to your turbot; it's the ten
seconds by which you miss the train; it's the dust that gets in your
eyes as you go down to Epsom; it's the pretty little rose note that went
by accident to your house instead of your club, and raised a storm from
madame; it's the dog that always will run wild into the birds; it's the