him, not from us, who will follow him, but from this miserable world. Ah,
poor child, I shall always see you as you were during those last moments,
turning those wide, wandering eyes toward heaven, seeking the way to your
new country. With a heart full of tears, I shall often let my thoughts go
straying after you; but alas! with the eyes of the body I shall never see
you again. I shall see you no more: yet only a few days ago I was making
the finest plans for you. I used to work for you only; in my studies I
thought only of you. Grow up, I used to say, and I will pour into your mind
all the knowledge which has cost me so dear, which I am hoarding little by
little...But reflection leads me to higher thoughts. I choke back the tears
in my heart, and I congratulate him that Heaven has mercifully spared him
this life of trials...My poor child...you will never, like your father,
have to struggle against poverty and misfortune; you will never know the
bitterness of life, and the difficulties of creating a position at a time
when there are so many paths that lead to failure...I weep for you because
we have lost you, but I rejoice because you are happy...You are happy, and
this is not the mad hope of a father broken by sorrow; no, your last glance
told me so, too eloquently for me to doubt it. Oh, how beautiful you were
in your mortal pallor; the last sigh on your lips, your gaze upon heaven,
and your soul ready to fly into the bosom of God! Your last day was the
most beautiful!" (2/12.)

Although study was his refuge, although he was thereby able to live through
these evil days without too greatly feeling their weight, his position was
hateful, and he lived a wretched life "from one day to another, like a
beggar."

In those troublous times, when education was of no account, it often
happened that his teacher's salary was several months in arrears, and the
city of Carpentras, "not being in funds," paid it only by instalments, and