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Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset (William Somerset) Maugham
page 25 of 957 (02%)
church, and they would not understand that the Vicar could not deal with
both of them at once; nor were they satisfied with his simple plan of
going for six months to one and for six months to the other. The butcher
who was not sending meat to the vicarage constantly threatened not to come
to church, and the Vicar was sometimes obliged to make a threat: it was
very wrong of him not to come to church, but if he carried iniquity
further and actually went to chapel, then of course, excellent as his meat
was, Mr. Carey would be forced to leave him for ever. Mrs. Carey often
stopped at the bank to deliver a message to Josiah Graves, the manager,
who was choir-master, treasurer, and churchwarden. He was a tall, thin man
with a sallow face and a long nose; his hair was very white, and to Philip
he seemed extremely old. He kept the parish accounts, arranged the treats
for the choir and the schools; though there was no organ in the parish
church, it was generally considered (in Blackstable) that the choir he led
was the best in Kent; and when there was any ceremony, such as a visit
from the Bishop for confirmation or from the Rural Dean to preach at the
Harvest Thanksgiving, he made the necessary preparations. But he had no
hesitation in doing all manner of things without more than a perfunctory
consultation with the Vicar, and the Vicar, though always ready to be
saved trouble, much resented the churchwarden's managing ways. He really
seemed to look upon himself as the most important person in the parish.
Mr. Carey constantly told his wife that if Josiah Graves did not take care
he would give him a good rap over the knuckles one day; but Mrs. Carey
advised him to bear with Josiah Graves: he meant well, and it was not his
fault if he was not quite a gentleman. The Vicar, finding his comfort in
the practice of a Christian virtue, exercised forbearance; but he revenged
himself by calling the churchwarden Bismarck behind his back.

Once there had been a serious quarrel between the pair, and Mrs. Carey
still thought of that anxious time with dismay. The Conservative candidate
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