practically needless. Beyond keeping a fleet in the North Sea and one
on the Mediterranean, and maintaining a patrol all round the rim of
the Pacific Ocean, Britain will cease to be a naval power. A mere
annual expenditure of fifty million pounds sterling will suffice for
such thin pretence of naval preparedness as a disarmed nation will
have to maintain.

This thing too, came as a surprise, or at least a surprise to the
general public who are unaware of the workings of diplomacy. Those
who know about such things were fully aware of what would happen if a
whole lot of British sailors and diplomatists and journalists were
exposed to the hospitalities of Washington. The British and Americans
are both alike. You can't drive them or lead them or coerce them, but
if you give them a cigar they'll do anything. The inner history of
the conference is only just beginning to be known. But it is
whispered that immediately on his arrival Mr. Balfour was given a
cigar by President Harding. Mr. Balfour at once offered to scrap five
ships, and invited the entire American cabinet into the British
Embassy, where Sir A. Geddes was rash enough to offer them champagne.

The American delegates immediately offered to scrap ten ships. Mr.
Balfour, who simply cannot be outdone in international courtesy,
saw the ten and raised it to twenty. President Harding saw the
twenty, raised it to thirty, and sent out for more poker chips.

At the close of the play Lord Beatty, who is urbanity itself,
offered to scrap Portsmouth Dockyard, and asked if anybody present
would like Canada. President Harding replied with his customary
tact that if England wanted the Philippines, he would think it what
he would term a residuum of normalcy to give them away. There is