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My Discovery of England by Stephen Leacock
page 70 of 149 (46%)
found by night-watchman, Henry T. Smith, while making his rounds
as usual with four bullets in his stomach."

Now let us suppose that a leading member of the House of Commons
in England had done the same thing. Here is the way it would be
written up in a first-class London newspaper.

The heading would be HOME AND GENERAL INTELLIGENCE. That is inserted
so as to keep the reader soothed and quiet and is no doubt thought
better than the American heading BUGHOUSE CONGRESSMAN BLOWS OUT
BRAINS IN HOTEL. After the heading HOME AND GENERAL INTELLIGENCE
the English paper runs the subheading INCIDENT AT THE GRAND HOTEL.
The reader still doesn't know what happened; he isn't meant to.
Then the article begins like this:

"The Grand Hotel, which is situated at the corner of Millbank and
Victoria Streets, was the scene last night of a distressing incident."

"What is it?" thinks the reader. "The hotel itself, which is an
old Georgian structure dating probably from about 1750, is a quiet
establishment, its clientele mainly drawn from business men in the
cattle-droving and distillery business from South Wales."

"What happened?" thinks the reader.

"Its cuisine has long been famous for the excellence of its boiled
shrimps."

"What happened?"

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