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My Discovery of England by Stephen Leacock
page 81 of 149 (54%)
journal that to whatever far away, outlandish part of the Empire
you may go, you will always find a correspondent of the Times
looking for something to do. It is said that the present proprietor
has laid it down as his maxim, "I don't want men who
think; I want men who know." The arrangements for thinking are made
separately.

Incidentally I may say that I had personal opportunities while I
was in England of realising that the reputation of the Times staff
for the possession of information is well founded. Dining one night
with some members of the staff, I happened to mention Saskatchewan.
One of the editors at the other end of the table looked up at the
mention of the name. "Saskatchewan," he said, "ah, yes; that's not
far from Alberta, is it?" and then turned quietly to his food again.
When I remind the reader that Saskatchewan is only half an inch
from Alberta he may judge of the nicety of the knowledge involved.
Having all this in mind, I recast the editorial and sent it to the
London Times as follows:

"The news that the Sultan of Kowfat has thrown away his suspenders
renders it of interest to indicate the exact spot where he has
thrown them. (See map). Kowfat, lying as the reader knows, on the
Kowfat River, occupies the hinterland between the back end of
south-west Somaliland and the east, that is to say, the west, bank
of Lake P'schu. It thus forms an enclave between the Dog Men of
Darfur and the Negritos of T'chk. The inhabitants of Kowfat are a
coloured race three quarters negroid and more than three quarters
tabloid.

"As a solution of the present difficulty, the first thing required
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