malevolent feeling towards many of those who were besieging me; and
in the second place, uneasiness as to what the shopkeepers and
porters would think of me.

On my return home that day, I was troubled in my soul. I felt that
what I had done was foolish and immoral. But, as is always the
result of inward confusion, I talked a great deal about the plan
which I had undertaken, as though I entertained not the slightest
doubt of my success.

On the following day, I went to such of the people whom I had
inscribed on my list, as seemed to me the most wretched of all, and
those who, as it seemed to me, would be the easiest to help. As I
have already said, I did not help any of these people. It proved to
be more difficult to help them than I had thought. And either
because I did not know how, or because it was impossible, I merely
imitated these people, and did not help any one. I visited the
Rzhanoff house several times before the final tour, and on every
occasion the very same thing occurred: I was beset by a throng of
beggars in whose mass I was completely lost. I felt the
impossibility of doing any thing, because there were too many of
them, and because I felt ill-disposed towards them because there were
so many of them; and in addition to this, each one separately did not
incline me in his favor. I was conscious that every one of them was
telling me an untruth, or less than the whole truth, and that he saw
in me merely a purse from which money might be drawn. And it very
frequently seemed to me, that the very money which they squeezed out
of me, rendered their condition worse instead of improving it. The
oftener I went to that house, the more I entered into intercourse
with the people there, the more apparent became to me the