and in the very worst kind of language. They also summoned an
armless boy and his mother. I saw that Ivan Fedotitch was in great
straits, on account of his conscientiousness, for me knew that
whatever was given would immediately pass to his tavern. But I had
to get rid of my thirty-two rubles, so I insisted; and in one way and
another, and half wrongfully to boot, we assigned and distributed
them. Those who received them were mostly well dressed, and we had
not far to go to find them, as they were there in the tavern. The
armless boy appeared in wrinkled boots, and a red shirt and vest.
With this my charitable career came to an end, and I went off to the
country; irritated at others, as is always the case, because I myself
had done a stupid and a bad thing. My benevolence had ended in
nothing, and it ceased altogether, but the current of thoughts and
feelings which it had called up with me not only did not come to an
end, but the inward work went on with redoubled force.



CHAPTER XII.



What was its nature?

I had lived in the country, and there I was connected with the rustic
poor. Not out of humility, which is worse than pride, but for the
sake of telling the truth, which is indispensable for the
understanding of the whole course of my thoughts and sentiments, I
will say that in the country I did very little for the poor, but the
demands which were made upon me were so modest that even this little