infraction of his custom-house regulations. General Soules, on reaching
Paris, presented himself before the Emperor, who received him cordially,
and, after some remarks relative to the Guard, added: "By the by, what is
this you have been doing? I heard of you. What! you really threatened
to throw my custom-house officers into the Rhine! Would you have done
it?"--"Yes, Sire," replied the general, with his German accent, "yes; I
would have done it. It was an insult to my old grenadiers to attempt
to inspect their boxes."--"Come, now," said the Emperor very affably,
"I see just how it is. You have been smuggling."--"I, Sire?"--"Yes, I
say. You have been smuggling. You bought linen in Hanover. You wanted
to furnish your house handsomely, as you imagined I would appoint you
senator. You were not mistaken. Go and have your senator's coat made,
but do not repeat this performance, for next time I will have you shot."

During our stay at Bayonne, in 1808, every one was struck with the
awkward manners of the King and Queen of Spain, and the poor taste
displayed in their toilets, the disgraceful appearance of their
equipages, and a certain air of constraint and embarrassment which was
general among all the persons of their suite. The elegant manners of the
French and the magnificence of the imperial equipages furnished such a
contrast to all this that it rendered them indescribably ridiculous. The
Emperor, who had such exquisite tact in all matters, was not one of the
last to perceive this, but, nevertheless, was not pleased that an
opportunity should be found to ridicule crowned heads. One morning at
his toilet he said to me, "I say, then, Monsieur le drole, you, who are
so well versed in these matters, give a few hints to the valet de chambre
of the King and Queen of Spain. They appear so awkward they really
excite my pity." I eagerly did what his Majesty suggested; but he did
not content himself with this, but also communicated to the Empress
Josephine his observations on the queen and her ladies. The Empress