I seldom reach my inn but that it comes into my mind to consider whether
I could there be sick and dying at my ease. I desire to be lodged in
some private part of the house, remote from all noise, ill scents, and
smoke. I endeavour to flatter death by these frivolous circumstances;
or, to say better, to discharge myself from all other incumbrances, that
I may have nothing to do, nor be troubled with anything but that which
will lie heavy enough upon me without any other load. I would have my
death share in the ease and conveniences of my life; 'tis a great part of
it, and of great importance, and I hope it will not in the future
contradict the past. Death has some forms that are more easy than
others, and receives divers qualities, according to every one's fancy.
Amongst the natural deaths, that which proceeds from weakness and stupor
I think the most favourable; amongst those that are violent, I can worse
endure to think of a precipice than of the fall of a house that will
crush me in a moment, and of a wound with a sword than of a harquebus
shot; I should rather have chosen to poison myself with Socrates, than
stab myself with Cato. And, though it, be all one, yet my imagination
makes as great a difference as betwixt death and life, betwixt throwing
myself into a burning furnace and plunging into the channel of a river:
so idly does our fear more concern itself in the means than the effect.
It is but an instant, 'tis true, but withal an instant of such weight,
that I would willingly give a great many days of my life to pass it over
after my own fashion. Since every one's imagination renders it more or
less terrible, and since every one has some choice amongst the several
forms of dying, let us try a little further to find some one that is
wholly clear from all offence. Might not one render it even voluptuous,
like the Commoyientes of Antony and Cleopatra? I set aside the brave and
exemplary efforts produced by philosophy and religion; but, amongst men
of little mark there have been found some, such as Petronius and
Tigellinus at Rome, condemned to despatch themselves, who have, as it