Little Meta having told her story, and received plenty of sympathy,
proceeded to dress, and, while her maid braided her hair, a musing
fit fell upon her. "I have seen something of life to-day," thought
she. "I had thought of the great difference between us and the poor,
but I did not know ladies lived in such different ways. I should be
very miserable without Bellairs, or without a fire in my room. I
don't know what I should do if I had to live in that cold, shabby
den, and do my own hair, yet they think nothing of it, and they are
cultivated and ladylike! Is it all fancy, and being brought up to
it? I wonder if it is right? Yet dear papa likes me to have these
things, and can afford them. I never knew I was luxurious before,
and yet I think I must be! One thing I do wish, and that is, that I
was of as much use as those girls. I ought to be. I am a motherless
girl like them, and I ought to be everything to papa, just as Miss
May is, even lying on the sofa there, and only two years older than I
am. I don't think I am of any use at all; he is fond of me, of
course, dear papa; and if I died, I don't know what would become of
him; but that's only because I am his daughter--he has only George
besides to care for. But, really and truly, he would get on as well
without me. I never do anything for him, but now and then playing to
him in the evening, and that not always, I am afraid, when I want to
be about anything else. He is always petting me, and giving me all I
want, but I never do anything but my lessons, and going to the
school, and the poor people, and that is all pleasure. I have so
much that I never miss what I give away. I wonder whether it is all
right! Leonora and Agatha have not so much money to do as they
please with--they are not so idolised. George said, when he was
angry, that papa idolises me; but they have all these comforts and
luxuries, and never think of anything but doing what they like. They
never made me consider as these Mays do. I should like to know them